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10 Things You Should Never Lie To Your Man About [A must Read]

10 Jun

by Kevin Carr

A little white lie never hurts, right? Well, not exactly.

Sometimes we tell little lies because we don’t want to hurt our partner’s feelings, but when it comes to dating, honesty is important. And, there’s certain things we usually fib about — like how many people we’ve had sex with or how we really feel about his inner circle — that can be even more hurtful to our guys and our relationships.

What things should you always be honest about with your man?

1. Your Birthday I know the rule: You never ask a woman her age. However, when it comes to dating, this rule must be broken. Don’t lie about your age. If he’s turned off, at least you will know where you both stand immediately. Lying about your age will instantly make you seem insecure, especially if you’re older. Who says PYTs have an age limit? Keep it real ladies!

2. How Much You Like Sports Your interest in sports isn’t as important to him as you think. As long as he can watch the game, he’s fine. You don’t have to watch it with him. If you really aren’t that interested in his favorite football or basketball team, it shouldn’t bother him one bit. But if he takes sports seriously and you’re misquoting stats, butchering player’s names and feigning interest in the score, it will be more annoying than endearing. He will know if your interest is genuine or not, so don’t fake it.

3. Number.
Discussing your sexual history is always tricky, but it’s unavoidable if things between you are becoming serious. I know all women won’t be in agreement here but, when it does come up, I say be open and honest about it. If he asks how many people you’ve slept with before him, don’t give him the “safe” number. Give him the real one. If he can’t handle your answer, that’s on him—not you. He should’ve taken heed when his mother told him to never ask a woman a question you don’t want the answer to.

4. Your Cooking Abilities: Nothing’s more disappointing for a man than to be promised a “life changing” home-cooked meal only to be served a plate full of watery macaroni and cheese and questionable meat. So you don’t know your way around a kitchen, that’s fine. It doesn’t make you less of a woman. Tell the truth and give him the chance to impress you with his skills. If you’re both clueless, you can always order take-out.

5. Your Marriage Goals: Most women assume that talking about marriage will scare a man off, but that’s false. The man that’s right for you will want to know where you really stand—especially if he’s on a different path. There is a way to be open about where you desire to be in the future in terms of your relationship without putting too much pressure on the present situation. Saying you don’t want to be married when you clearly do, will send him running for the hills.

6. Your Real Thoughts On His Inner Circle: If you’re not “cool” with his inner circle, you shouldn’t pretend to be. While you should keep an open mind when getting to know them, it’s imperative that you find a way to be open with him about your reservations instead of forcing yourself to hang out with people you just don’t care for.

7. How Cool You Are With Him Having “Female Friends”: Not every woman will be comfortable with her man’s best friend forever being a female. This is something you must be honest with yourself and him about up front. The issues you overlook in the beginning can potentially become romantic barriers later on down the line. Don’t tell him you’re “cool with it” when you’re not. He’ll see right through this one fast.

8. The Ex-Factor: If your ex is still in the picture, say so. It’s just as important not to hide a connection to an ex, as it is for him to reveal any women in his life. As long as you both keep it real in this department, there will be no unwanted surprises.

9. Your Bedroom Activities: Don’t ever tell a man he’s the best you’ve ever had unless it’s the actual truth. You may want to feed his ego, but it won’t work that way if you’re lying. If you tell him he’s the best then he has no room to improve. Compliment him but don’t overdo it. He’ll appreciate it the realness.

10. The “Real”: You Additions and enhancements are cool, but at some point the man you’re dating should be able to meet the real you. I am attempting to tread lightly here. I know that at times certain outfits may require some “help.” But don’t let padded bras, body shapers and hair weaves mask the real you. That’s who he is most interested in, promise. Or at least, Mr. Right should be.

Keeping it real counts and could save you a whole bunch of heartache in your relationship! I’ll put up something for the guys in my next

What do you think? Want to add something else? While not leave a comment…..


Dad Writes Letter To Unborn Child! We Can’t Wait No More

2 Jun

My child,

Its just over 31 months since that day I took the stroll down the aisle with your mummy and said our vows before God and man. Since that day, we have been waiting expectantly for you. Sometimes we wonder what is taking you so long. Sometimes we imagine its taking so long because you must be very special. Most times our hearts have remained undoubtedly sure that your coming is very close, and in fact closer than we think. But then, you do not need to keep us waiting anymore.

But don’t think we have not done our fair share of things that are believed will make you come quickly. I have been severally tested and found to be perfect, having millions of you inside me. Mummy has been severally tested too and everything is in place, no cysts, no fibroids. And we have sown seeds too, financially and otherwise. We have invested in other children and continue to do so. We have followed plethora of advice on what and what not to do. We have not allowed our expectations to metamorphose into anxiety… yet you are yet to come.

And you know what? Mummy needs you! There is just something about African culture and the African woman that has made having you a certificate of completeness. You are the very person she needs right now. She has God, she has me, but she needs you to balance the equation. She has heard how discomfiting pregnancy can be… and how much more painful labour is too. But I can tell you that she is ready to go through all of that and more just to have you. Mummy G that has a 3yr-old and a 2yr-old just gave birth another 2 months ago. Mummy T that has a 2yr+ old is already carrying another. These people live in the same compound with mummy. Infact, your uncle and aunty that married after your mummy and daddy already hold their children in their hands. Granddaddy and Grandmummy are not putting mummy under pressure. They call her from time to time to encourage her to be patient. My siblings and hers do the same too. But little by little, mummy is beginning to put herself under pressure. I am doing everything I can to help her, but I need you to help me.

And don’t think that I don’t want you too! I want you with the last drop of my blood. I love you so much my heart literally aches sometimes. Children’s day was celebrated yesterday in church and it was beautiful. My eyes were flooded with tears to see so many lovely children showcasing their talents. I know that if you were here, you would have been one of the best! Anyway, I bought some gifts for children that are needy on your behalf; so know that your name is already recorded in church!

Today is Children’s Day. If you were here, I would have taken the day off work to have fun with you at Inspiration FM’s Children Day’s Carnival at Dreamworld Africana. We would have had many lovely rides and yummy ice cream together, and I would have been overwhelmed just to hear you laugh. Nothing can describe how I would feel just to hold you in my arms knowing that you are my seed become flesh.

Please do not heed all the bad news on the airwaves and think the world is bad place. Do not listen to statistics that show that Nigeria is uninhabitable. We have sworn to do all we can to make the world a beautiful place for you. You will meet many challenges, but most importantly, you would have been prepared to overcome them.

I have to stop now because am in the office and my eyes are teary again. My boss just asked what’s wrong my eyes (lol) so I have to run before they find I have been crying. But am not ashamed to cry if it will make you come quickly. I know that we will surmount any mountain to finally have you in our arms… it’s just that waiting can be so hard sometimes.

We love you as no other human can ever and will ever do.

From the best Dad you could ever have,

-Ladun Laidi

Perfect bikini bod: Yvonne Nelson gets sexy for Wow magazine June edition[Look]

31 May

Kindly follow the trend….she sets it!

Why Am I Still Single? [A must read]

29 Apr

Why am I still single?
This question haunts even the most confident women. You’re not alone. It comes up when you’ve spent years in and out of failed relationships and you finally reach the point wanting to give up on love.

If you ask this question in the form of a complaint, like “why me?” you won’t get a satisfactory answer. But if you ask it with an open mind and in the spirit of wanting to know the truth, it can make the difference between finding the love of your life — or being alone.

Here are three possible reasons why you might ask “Why am I still single?

One or two of them may apply to you, or maybe all three. Be ruthlessly honest with yourself when you consider them. You, like me many years ago, may have some “blind spots” that make it hard for you to see the truth of your situation. If any one of these strikes a nerve but you’re not sure, get some objective feedback or ask a friend what they think so you can move forward.

1. You’re ambivalent about entering into a committed, intimate relationship with a man.

As much as you think you want a partner, you may find it hard to leave your comfort zone of being single. I know you don’t think you’re comfortable, but we tend to go for what’s familiar. Ambivalence will prevent you from taking the emotional risks necessary to get close enough to a man to love him and let him love you.

It will keep you from fully committing to finding a partner, and creates all kinds of sneaky ways to ruin your relationships. If left unchallenged, it will keep you falling for unavailable men or with acts of self-sabotage such as drinking too much on a first date. Ambivalence will make you believe all kinds of excuses and rationalizations as to why you haven’t met the right man, and it will keep you in a state of blaming rather than taking responsibility.

2. You make finding a man more important than finding happiness.

It’s a cliche but it’s true: You can’t depend on anything outside of yourself to make you happy. Believe me, if you tend to be a negative woman who always sees the glass as half empty, nothing is going to change when you find Mr. Right and marry him.

Yes, you might have a few months of intoxication when you are still in the honeymoon stage of the relationship. But soon, as the headiness wears off and you start to see the real man with all of his imperfections, you’ll no longer be able to get the “happiness fix.” Your negative attitude will creep back in and you’ll be stuck feeling miserable again.

3. You don’t value yourself enough to set boundaries.

Every relationship you enter into requires some form of boundaries. Whether it’s your hairdresser, your doctor, or your mother, there are “rules” that are implied in the nature of a relationship. If you let people — men in particular — get away with breaking the rules you need to feel safe and loved, you’ll end up floundering emotionally and be full of resentment.

Boundaries, like discipline, create freedom. If you don’t have standards in your relationships, you’re at the mercy of someone else’s bad behavior. ”Why am I still single?” is a good question to ask yourself and you shouldn’t be afraid of the answer. Facing what has been holding you back is the only way to move yourself forward to get the love you desire.

And the big question. So what do I do?

Gets real about why they ” and possibly you ” are still flying solo.

Below are very optimistic solutions to end a “solo life”.

>Do an autopsy on your past relationships. Why didn’t they work? Look at things honestly and learn from your mistakes.

>Acknowledge what you own in a relationship. If you look at relationships that haven’t worked, the common denominator is you! That means you own part of the problem. You create your own experience and control the choices you make. Your behavior and decisions have consequences. Take responsibility for them.

>Be your authentic self. Your authentic self is who you are when you have no fear of judgment, or before the world starts pushing you around and telling you who you’re supposed to be. Your fictional self is who you are when you have a social mask on to please everyone else ” and it doesn’t work if you’re looking for a lasting relationship. Give yourself permission to be your authentic self.

>Change your internal dialogue ” what you’re telling yourself in real time. You may be programming yourself for failure with negative thoughts. For example, if you call yourself a “freak magnet” while waiting for a blind date to show up, you’re starting off with a negative internal message.

>Elevator music
Tapes can be even more insidious than your internal dialogue because they’re so well rehearsed and ingrained. Evaluate a particular situation, rather than listening to your tapes and deciding ahead of time. For example, if you’ve told yourself that “all good men are taken,” then you’ve labeled the man you’re out with as “a leftover” before you’ve even gotten to know him! Your pre-determined beliefs, which you may not even be conscious of, can be destructive.

>A common mistake of many single people is that they try to change themselves for the person they are dating. When you do that, you’re not being true to who you are, and it will bite you in the rear.

>If what you’re doing isn’t working, change it. Do something different. Don’t be someone you’re not, but have a broad range of who you are.

>Decide what kind of person you’re looking for and put yourself in a target-rich environment. If, for example, you’re looking for a man who loves the outdoors, go there. And if you’re not looking for a barfly, don’t go to a bar to meet someone!

>Only 7 percent of communication is verbal. For every thought you have, there’s a physiological reaction. Become aware of the signals you are sending out. Desperation, for example, comes through in non-verbal communication.

>Recognize that you don’t have to be in a relationship to be whole. It is better to be happy alone than sick with someone else. The most important relationship you have is the one you have with yourself.

>Don’t put pressure on yourself. You don’t have to be married. It’s not required. Stop telling yourself you have to get a ring on your finger.

>Are you available?
Look at your life and ask yourself if you’re leaving time to meet someone. Would someone have to throw himself on the hood of your car to cross paths with you and get your attention?

>Don’t act desperate.
Send a message that you “want to” be in a relationship ” not that you’ve “got to.” Even if you hear your biological clock, it need not tick loudly enough for every eligible man to hear it!

Credit to Dr. Phil and Virginia Clark. 


18 Apr

Why would you do anything to make yourself look older? The only time when people try to look older is when they are younger. Yes, we’re well aware of the irony in that situation.

Women put a lot of time and effort into looking beautiful. In addition, we all try our hardest to live a healthy life so we look and feel younger. Unfortunately, there are a few mistakes that you might be making that actually cause you to look older , not younger.

Curious as to what they are? Here are 7 of the most common beauty mistakes that (mostly) women

Putting on a thick layer of foundation is obvious to anyone who spends a few moments looking at your face. Instead, try to be minimal with your use of foundation or use a tinted moisturizer instead. The more skin people can see and the less makeup the better. Use it to enhance your well-taken-care-of skin, not cover it up.

Dark circles under the eyes are a bane of beauty for both men and women. Getting more sleep and adjusting your diet can help make these look better, but oftentimes women rely on concealer to help their eyes look more youthful. But as you get older, the skin under the eye becomes thinner. This means you need to apply light amounts of concealer and only where there are darker areas. Otherwise the thick cover-up will not look good at all.

Your hairstyle can be a huge boost to your beauty, or an unfortunate detriment to your beauty. As you get older and want to continue looking young, a long and flat hair style will not work as well as it did in your youth. Long, flat hair exaggerates the look of a droopier, older face without bringing out the good in your face.

In our busy and hectic lives, people build up a great deal of stress throughout the week. It’s a serious beauty mistake to have lots of stress on your shoulders and not do anything about it. Skin suffers when the body and mind are under stress, and no amount of beauty tips or make up can undo the damage caused by stress. Find a healthy way to reduce stress and keep yourself looking as beautiful as you can.

When you get your hair colored or have it go through curlers or other processes, you’re doing damage to it over time. This is especially true when it is done on a weekly basis. Fried and dried hair looks as far from youthful and beautiful as a toad is from handsome. Cut back on the hair salon trips and dye jobs, you’ll save money and your hair.

Shiny and shimmering eye shadow might look great and be popular but it’s going to show signs of aging more than other forms of eye shadow. The area where you apply eye shadow lacks oil glands and that means the eyes are the area to show aging first. Creases and cracks in the skin will be exemplified with the use of shinier eye shadow as opposed to matte colors.

As you get older, to make yourself look younger you need to stop using mascara and eyeliner on the lower area of your eye. This only brings attention to the dark circles and other effects of aging instead of making your eyes look more beautiful. Also, keep the eyeliner off the lower part of the eye, it does the same.

Lifestyle: 10 Characteristics Of A Good Girlfriend [a must read]

21 Mar

Having a good woman by your side as your girlfriend is always nice.
In fact, it is a dream of every normal man in this world. The right woman is a woman who can make you grow into a better man.
Many men experience failure in relationships because they are too quick to choose, too easily attracted and fall in love with a woman without thinking whether she is worthy or not (of course mistakes committed by ourselves can cause failures too). Below are 10 characteristics of a good woman to be your girlfriend:

1. Supportive
She is a figure who always support you in your life as well as your career and always by your side when the whole world walks out. As we know, our society tend to require a man to be a strong man and not a fragile person, but sadness and stress that come repeatedly will destroy you if you don’t vent your feelings. Thus, a good woman can be the best listener by providing support and comfort for you. She also gives you freedom to develop yourself as you want.

2. Independent
This characteristic is important because it means she can manage and take care of herself. It will be very annoying when you have to be her ‘babysitter’ all the time, right? She can go home by herself when you can’t pick her up, she can go shopping by herself when you can’t accompany her, and she can rely on herself when you can’t help her. Independent woman is a woman who can stand by her own feet and walk alone when you can’t be there (of course she still respects you as the leader).

3. Beautiful inside and out
From the outside, she is not a woman like Taylor Swift, Kate Middleton, Megan Fox, or Jessica Alba, but she looks beautiful and attractive in her own way, her simplicity and friendliness. From the inside, you notice that she is a person who has an extraordinary and inspiring personality.

4. Confident
She loves her imperfection, perfectly. She doesn’t hurt herself or dying to be famous and beautiful like a movie actress. She doesn’t try to be someone else, she is confident of herself and (of course) proud to have you by her side.

5. Respects you
You are the leader and she, as your partner, has respect for you and the decisions you make. She doesn’t make you afraid of her and look like a loser. But of course, you have to respect her too by not humiliating and treating her like a slave.

6. Know when to speak and keep quiet
She knows which stories that can be told to her friends and which ones don’t. She doesn’t like to gossip about your bad things and your relationship. She knows when to speak and listen to your words. She also can speak tenderly (without yelling) when she expresses her opinion to you.

7. Loyal
Someone who’s in normal or happy circumstances tend to be a kind person. Don’t immediately assume she has a good character when she is in such conditions, just wait until you have some problems. Then you will know her true character and who she really is. Women who are not loyal will turn around and leave you when you face problems, either minor or major ones. While women who are loyal will remain by your side to face the problems together. That’s why you need time to evaluate your partner before moving to the next stage of your relationship.

8. Doesn’t fall in love with your wealth and social status
In this modern era, money is something that has tremendous appeal. Money can buy positions, power, authorities, even ‘love’. Of course they love the money not the person. Although money remains an important thing to think about (you can’t eat and shop without money, right?), but a good woman won’t put her love on your wealth because she already has something more valuable than money… You. Think about this… Love of money is only temporary because wherever the money goes, that’s where her heart is… But love that comes and grows from her heart to you will last for a lifetime. Why? Because wherever you go, that’s where her heart is. Do you notice the difference?

9. Simple and down to earth
There was a joke that said, “The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.” It’s funny but also true. Women are good market of beauty products by various companies. In fact, MOST of their body parts are good market.. Their hair, face, ears, eyes, hands, fingers, toenails, and so on. Don’t be trapped by a high maintenance woman if you can’t afford her needs. It’s better to choose a simple woman who still looks good with what she got, without requiring too much maintenance. In addition, she is modest and humble in everyday life, she doesn’t demand a lot of facilities to indulge herself.

10. Gets into your life
And the last thing is she knows and gets along well with your friends. She also knows your family well, helps your mom to prepare meals, travels with your family, and most importantly she enjoys it all sincerely. When she knows your life well and has a good relationship with your family, then you have a good chance to move into the next relationship stage.



5 steps to make any man fall in love with you

5 Mar

Men are absolutely starved for respect and appreciation. At the end of the day, all he really wants is to make you happy and to feel that you see and appreciate him for who he is

Here you go:

Step 1: Attraction
This is the most obvious step…sparking a guy’s interest always starts with attraction. Being attractive to a guy doesn’t necessarily mean looking like a cover girl, it really boils down to being confident with who you are and what you look like.

It’s important to take care of yourself no matter what stage of a relationship you’re in. Make sure you fit exercise into your life– staying in shape has all sorts of benefits, especially when it comes to the way you look and the way you feel.

Find something you love doing- running, zumba, yoga, running, etc.

There are also a few scientifically proven beauty tricks to get a guy’s interest.

In a nutshell they are:

Red lips – Many studies have shown that a red lip makes a woman more attractive. This is thought to be because red lips are a sign of fertility
Lined lids – Using eye-liner or mascara creates a contrast that enhances your feminine sensuality
Flushed cheeks – Another sign of fertility and youth that makes you instantly more appealing. Try a subtle pale pink blush for a fresh, natural look
Thick locks – A recent survey showed that hair is the first thing men notice about a woman, even before breasts! Like the others, thick, shiny strands are an indication of good health.
And when it comes to fashion, always make sure you dress to flatter your figure and complement your personal style. If you’re uncomfortable with what you’re wearing, it will come across and this sort of thing is a big turn off.

Step 2: Go with the Flow
So an attraction has ignited you just start hanging out. You text and talk on the phone here and there, but you’re still in that stage where you don’t quite know where this is going. Just go with it!

Don’t analyze, don’t obsess, don’t plot, don’t stress. And don’t consider yourself off the market just because there’s a guy in the picture that you really, really like. Keep your options open, play it cool, and give him the space to come to you. And “stop checking your phone every five seconds to see if he texted. Seriously, stop.”

Step 3: Maintain your own life
Things with the guy are getting a little more serious, you’re hanging out more, the connection has deepened. That’s all well and good, but it’s imperative that you keep going about your life in the same way you were before you started dating.

Of course you can carve out some more space for him, but don’t drop everything else you had going on in your life before he entered the picture. Keep going about your life as you usually would, keep hanging out with friends, going to book club, working out, everything you were doing before… keep doing.

The fact that you had a well-rounded life is a big part of why he was drawn to you, so don’t stop being that girl just because you have a guy.

Step 4: When it comes to label time…
Ask yourself, do you want to be with him, or do you just want to be with someone.  At this stage, it’s important to check yourself and make sure that you want the label for the right reasons.

A man wants to feel adored and appreciated for who he is. It is an amazing feeling for a man when a woman he’s into sees who he truly is and wants to be with him.

On the other hand, it is utterly unsettling to a man when the girl he’s seeing just wants a boyfriend and he knows he’s just filling a slot that could easily go to any other male.

A lot of women get so caught up in the fantasy of having a boyfriend that they fail to really see the person they’re dating… all they see is the chance to not die alone. When a guy feels that you appreciate how unique he is and what he himself can contribute to your life, he won’t hesitate to make it official.

If you’re doing it right and he still won’t put a label on it, use your walking power and leave the situation. If he cares for you at all, he won’t let you go.

Step 5: Appreciate, acknowledge and respect him for who he is
Men are absolutely starved for respect and appreciation. At the end of the day, all he really wants is to make you happy and to feel that you see and appreciate him for who he is…that you see the hidden sides of him that no one else gets to see, that you know his inner self and love and appreciate who he is.

You can’t fake your appreciation though, it has to be sincere and genuine. When he does something nice for you, be it something big or small, show him that you noticed and that you appreciate it. The more specific you are with your compliments and acknowledgments, the better.

An ideal woman to a man is a woman who is thoroughly happy with him. If you are genuinely happy with him and with the relationship and are able to  see him and accept him without an angle or agenda, he won’t be able to stop himself from falling hopelessly in love with you.

So there you have it. The steps to make any man fall in love. Just promise me you’ll use this instruction manual wisely, not to make any and every man fall in love

The Gloss

[A Must Ready]: A True Val Story

17 Feb

The Significance Of Valentine.

Standing over my window, over looking the wet mist fumes of the early morning dew evaporate into the morning light, I wished for a great day. It was february 13th valentine’s eve, I was hoping that for once this val will be better. For years now my valentine’s day have all ended on a solemn note, a sober mood, with nothing to celebrate except a fulfilled heart.
I was returning from the well, 3 houses away where I went to fetch water when a little voice greeted me.”Good morning sir”, I turned and replied, good morning boy.”You are always in a hurry to the lecture room, this is the first time you are replying my greeting in over a year now, it means the end is near”. I was stunned, what do u mean?I asked him. Will you be my val? he said. I smiled but, just then the father of the boy came out of the house- He turned out to be my “MCB” Lecturer! What a co-incidence! He was surprised to see me too, we greeted and he told me a little about his son, TIMI–”He is an SS(Sickle Cell anaemia patient), his mother my wife died from the same illness some years Ago”: he said sadly. I stood there in bewilderment, at how such an intelligent boy will soon die at such a young age.

I came back early from lectures that day, the thought of the dying boy did not make me concentrate, my memory was clouded. In school, my friends reminded me of the faculty party coming up the next day february 14th, my girlfriend had also been planning big for our most romantic date ever, also on Valentine, for me I was not sure anymore. I went straight to Timi’s house, there I found the doctor battling to save his life, his condition had worsened. I held his hands, he opened his eyes and smiled. It was 1pm, we talked about his late mum, his school, his ambitions and my family till 10pm that night. When I rose to leave, he gave me a book titled “Flying with the Angels” and asked me to read it soonest. I was tired when I reached my hostel so I went straight To bed..At exactly 5am a loud voice resonated in my room, I jolted from Sleep but saw no one except the book Timi gave me. I opened the first chapter, it read; “My own valentine ended on february 13th”. I turned to the back page: “Thanks for the love,GOODBYE”. When I checked the Atthor, it was him! The 7yr old Timi wrote it! Like someone deranged, I bolted out of the room, running carelessly towards his house, hoping I will salvage whatever is left , but I halted in my tracks midway through, there I could see Timi’s father my lecturer sitted outside, crying profusely, weeping uncontrollably, I did not bother to go closer Or ask, it was crystal clear, obvious. The worst had happened, at exactly [11:58pm February 13th] 2mins to valentine’s day; Timi had died.
Now mentally imbalanced, I wandered into the woods that valentine, wondering If timi is truly flying with the angels as he had written in his book, maybe if I knew him earlier and showed him love he would have lived a little longer, his brilliance, his dreams, his hopes all gone, his father was always too busy to have time for him, I thought of others like him that needed love on their death bed but had none, tears flowed freely from my eyes. My girlfriend and my friends called me 43times that valentine, all to no avail.
The next day I apologised to my friends but I refused to tell them what happend the previous day. My girlfriend was in tears, the best thing to do was break up, I remember she told me I just can’t love a girl, it didn’t matter, I was getting used to these kind of unstable relationships -comittment is a big Issue I thought .I was at fault so I pleaded with her to forgive me, she said nothing. Late Timi was still on my mind, so I left. I determined there and then, that my next valentine’s day must be a happy one, away from sadness, to more fun, but I was wrong. The next two valentine saw me and others sharing The Holy Bible to prison inmates, donating to an orphanage and trying to give hope to the hopeless. It wasn’t all fun but it was fulfilling.

*PS :- Valentine is NOT only a time to show love to those closest to you because you will always have Them. It is also a period to show love to those who need love the most but have no one to love them, for you may not have them for long. Finally, It’s a time to sacrifice, to love those who can never love you back. For me, everyday is a valentine. The circle continues.
Dr. Gibsoon

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[A Must Read]: 10 Simple Things Girls Want

14 Feb

When it comes to women, the little things count.

Here are ten seemingly simple things that women crave….
1. Someone who shows an interest in her life, who she is, and how she became that person
Ask questions! Show an interest! Don’t you really want to know who you are with? And if you are really interested in that person, you would want to know all of this information.
2. Acknowledgement of special occasions
True: some girls will say they don’t want anything for Valentine’s Day, and secretly do. Basically, she is looking for a thoughtful gesture. Because even though she’s not asking for anything, she’s still looking for proof that you care.
3. Appreciation on ordinary daysDid she make you a cake? Dinner? Do your laundry? Make you smile? Watch your favorite TV show with you? Tell her—a simple and sincere “thank you” will suffice.
4. Someone who likes her imperfections and embraces his ownNo one is perfect. Accept it. Don’t get too picky, because someone could point out your imperfections just as easily.
5. Someone who is excited to see her and proud to be with herIntroduce her to your friends (when you are ready, of course!) and always let her know that you are happy to see her.
6. Someone who is already on their own pathI get it! Sometimes, especially in this economy, we have to compromise regarding our living situations. But honestly, if you aren’t on a road to independent living, grown-up style, that is a problem.
7. Someone who wants a commitment and marriageIf you have commitment issues or are just looking for simple, unattached companionship, make it known early and often.
8. Someone who compliments her and accepts her complimentsBe confident enough in yourself to welcome compliments, and confident enough to give them.

9. Someone who gives as much to her as she gives to them

It is exhausting doing all of the work. Just sayin’.

10. Someone who likes simple things

Ordinary things are just plain awesome sometimes. Spending 20 minutes to walk with your lady says more than you realize. I think guys sometimes overthink what we really want.

Now, if you have the qualities on this list, have pride in yourself. I am not going to lie. Yes, there are superficial things that MAY or MAY NOT be added bonuses, but let’s get real here, people, you can’t be satisfied EVERY time.

Expect and give these basics and you’ll have a more fulfilling relationship. If you find a girl that’s after much more than this, or find that your list is too complicated and detailed, you’re not going to find that long-lasting relationship you’re after.

culled from: liveofofo

8 Things Your Woman Really Wants For Valentine’s day [a must read]

14 Feb


On Valentine’s Day husbands will arrive home with chocolates, roses, lingerie and images of probable intimacy afterwards dancing in their heads. As wives everywhere unwrap their gifts, they’ll be thinking, “So what’s in this for me?” Far from being that romantic holiday as depicted on the cards, Valentine’s Day has become another time for men to place more expectations on women.

The evidence is in: women are working harder than men. Most are still being paid less for their work outside the home. They are likely to be shouldering more of the burden of household and child rearing responsibilities than men. Women in the workplace continue to face sexism, spoken and unspoken. They are often exhausted by the expenditure of energy trying to combat the sexism they face without appearing petty or scandalous. Their work day is almost never over when they arrive back in their homes. Adding insult to injury, Valentine’s Day becomes an opportunity for men, in the guise of romance, to obligate their wives to intimacy when what their wives really want is time to relax, sleep, and have their houses cleaned by someone else. Therefore, for so many women their understanding of Valentine’s Day sex is just one more task that she is expected to perform.

For many women Valentine’s Day does not bring out romantic feelings. Instead, it ignites anger and frustration. Valentine’s Day seems to benefit men while requiring women to smile as they accommodate the desires of another man one more time. Women, at home and work, continually face the challenges of men who demand much and don’t give enough in return. While it is claimed that it is a holiday for women it doesn’t take much to see that it’s the men who get what they want, while women are wanting.

Wouldn’t it be great to rewrite the meaning of Valentine’s Day to a holiday that truly benefits women? The following are 10 rules for men that could transform Valentine’s Day into a holiday women can enjoy and maybe make them feel loved.

1. Gifts are fine but they should be something that she really wants. Not a gift a man wants a woman to want.

2. Rather than entering the home with expectations of romance and desire, ask your Valentine what you can do to lighten her load. This should be something that is built into marriage every day — but certainly try it on Valentine’s Day.

3. Clean the house, and do it well. Don’t do it in a manner that will predictably cause her to think that she never wants you to do it again because it was really half-hearted.

4. Do the laundry, and do it well.

5. Make dinner or make reservations. This should be a night your wife doesn’t have to cook.

6. Offer to take over all household duties for the evening so that she can take a long bath, read a book, watch her favorite TV show, etc.

7. When you get into bed, let her sleep if you can see that’s really what she wants. Don’t try to manipulate her into feeling guilty because she is not receptive to the idea of intimacy just because it is Valentine’s Day.

8. If she wants to heat things up, try to put the focus on her and what you know is pleasurable to her. If you don’t know what is pleasurable to her, that’s a sign of a real problem in your sex life.

The way to a woman’s heart is to show her that you are thinking of her and her needs not you and your needs. Relationships that keep the focus on the other person’s needs when trying to “gift” them generally end up being the most romantic relationships.