For real: 5 reasons why women cheat

11 Feb

The generally more fragile male ego leads men’s thoughts away from even considering they may be cheated upon.
Men engage in more sexual offenses than women, perhaps giving the suggestion that men in general are more likely to sexually act out.
Women are better at cheating and hiding it then men.
Men are more likely to get caught when cheating (see the photo above).

Why Women Cheat:

Women who step out on a husband or significant other — male or female — do so for any number of reasons, the five most common of which are listed below:


1. She feels underappreciated, neglected, or ignored.
A woman who feels more like a housekeeper, financial provider, or nanny than a wife or girlfriend is more vulnerable to finding an external situation that brings attention and appreciation for who she is rather than the functions she performs.

She craves intimacy. More so than men, women feel valued and connected to their relationship partner through non-sexual emotional interaction such as touching, kissing, cuddling, gift-giving, being remembered, and most of all meaningful communication. Women who aren’t getting their intimacy needs met by a primary partner may look elsewhere, trying to meet those needs through sexual/romantic relationships. Some of these same women may also engage in alcohol/drug abuse, compulsive spending, binge or consistent overeating, etc., to compensate for the emptiness they feel.


2. She is bored and/or lonely. Women who find themselves alone at home for long periods of time, perhaps when caring for young children or even after children are grown and gone, can feel that their lives lack meaning, and they may use casual sex or deeper romantic affairs to fill the void. Women who have spouses or partners who are absent for long periods of time related to work (military service, for example) may also turn to sex and affairs to fill what feels like an untenable emptiness.


3. She never feels fully loved and appreciated.
Some women have unrealistic expectations about what a long-term spouse or partner should offer them emotionally and in other ways. Those who are more narcissistic and emotionally immature may expect a significant other to meet their every single need, and also to be a mind-reader in terms of knowing what those needs are. When their human and imperfect partner inevitably fails them, they feel justified in seeking attention elsewhere.

4. She has an intimacy disorder. Early childhood trauma and/or sexual abuse often lead women (and men) in adult life to problems with addictive sex and/or serial cheating. Such women repeatedly seek emotional intensity rather than relational intimacy. Women with unresolved childhood trauma as well as those with emotional instability — women who carry an uneven and disjointed sense of self — can seek consistency and feelings of importance through intensity-based romantic and/or sexual activity.


5. Feeling “in control” over someone desiring or wanting them sexually/romantically helps them to approximate feelings of worth, importance, belonging, and emotional safety. Female relationship and sex addicts use a constant stream of sexual activity to fulfill unmet emotional needs, and also to avoid being needful, genuine, and intimate with someone who could hurt them (as happened when they were when young).

In truth, some women cheat because they receive little sex or physical intimacy from their spouse. For these women, going outside the relationship for sex may be a logical, even healthy answer. That said, women also enjoy the feelings of being wanted, needed, and desired that partner-sexuality can evoke, and a woman is more likely to break her vow of monogamy because she’s seeking this type of emotional connection than for purely sexual reasons.

Sadly, some women may not realize how profoundly their secretive sexual or romantic behavior can affect the long-term emotional life of a trusting male spouse or partner. Infidelity hurts a betrayed man by damaging his sense of home, safety, and self. The keeping of secrets, especially sexual secrets, ruins relationship trust, and betrayal causes pain regardless of gender and regardless of the woman’s reasons for breaking her vow or commitment.

Excerpt: robertweissmsw.com

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